Disaster V-Day Date...Group Style

I admit, we can all be completely juvenile from time to time. My weakness: Twenty years old and still with an insatiable desire to have sleepovers. So there I was, sitting next to my best friend Lisa, preparing to finally call it a night. It was about 1:00 AM when I received the phone call. Another close friend of mine calls, "Chrissy, this guy really wants to meet you. Could be a perfect fit!" I know, I know...My first thought should have been, "What decent man would want to meet a potential match at one o'clock in the morning?" However, I was up for a little adventure and luckily had been too lazy to wash my makeup off from earlier in the day. I tossed on a different pair of pants, a coat and was out the door with Lisa in tow.

After a 20 minute drive, we arrived at a house that reeked of alcohol and sweaty boys. We walked in, looking for the friend who damned me into meeting a guy who was, by the smell of everything, too drunk to even see me straight. We spotted her at the back door puffing on a cigarette, apparently a little less hammered then her fellow party goers. "Tarah!" I scolded, "You said there was a guy here, not a whole party!" Ever since she moved in with her boyfriend, partying was a constant in her life, so I guess it was my bad to think it was anything but - Hence the late phone call and the aromas emanating from everywhere. I started scanning the room, looking for an unknown face and name. I didn't see one, so I sat on a bench tucked near the off-key piano. I relaxed a bit, actually starting conversations with the people I already knew from previous encounters here. It was just when I was beginning to believe that this mystery man had left that I heard Tarah call to someone in the next room, "Mike! She's here! Come in here!"

"Oh my God," was the only thought in my head appropriate for publishing. And boy was I right. Drunk, a little belligerent, and not as crisp and clean as a potential "match" would be. A death glare was shot at my friend to show my disapproval as he put his slobbery lips on my hand. "Oh how suave!" I thought sarcastically. But politely I smiled as I attempted to regain my empty seat next to Lisa; picking a seat where he couldn't squeeze next to me was key. He attempted to hold a conversation with me, slurring his words and telling jokes that either I didn't quite get, or were only funny to those with an alcohol level above .08%. I wasn't an avid smoker, but chanced the odds at cancer when it meant I could casually escape this drunken joke trap of death.

Standing with the girls outside, I proclaimed my disapproval to both Lisa and Tarah. Lisa giggled as I muttered them out, one by one. Tarah was countered my attacks with reasons I should just get to know him and excusing his short comings on the over indulgence in alcohol...Which she also assured me was a rare occasion. I was always a big believer in second chances and told her to pass along my wariness and my phone number. It was wrong to make him believe I was happy with his empty, inebriated compliments. But decided it was only fair to give him a chance when he had sobered up. I'll admit, he wasn't exactly attractive or in shape, but to base him on all of these shallow attributes would have been low and unfair...Not to mention hypocritical. I would regret this decision forever.

I never got a phone call, but returned to that house a few days later during a reasonable hour and on a weekday to spend time with Tarah. The whole atmosphere had changed and, thankfully, so had the smells. I found the boys in the kitchen, playing guitar and bongos around the table and Tarah nearby cooking them buffalo wings on the stove. Tarah's boyfriend John, his best friend who we all called "Bun," and Mike all sat making up lyrics to whatever song they were improvising. They were a talented bunch, no doubt. I can't recall it now, but whoever it was they were mocking made me laugh out loud and interrupted their jam session. I was invited over to sing along with all of them, and pulled up a seat amidst the Weird Al wanna-bees. I wasn't as good at ad-libbing as they were, so I requested to sing a 'real' song. They picked out Tom Petty's "Free Fallin'" and I gladly accepted. As I belted my part, I watched four sets of eyes in all stare in amusement. Embarrassed, I quieted only to have Mike nudge me and whisper in my ear to sing louder. By the end of the song, which for some reason had two extra choruses tied on, my voice was shot and I had three new undying fans. I guess there was just something about that music that would bring anyone together.

After spending a couple days with him and after him being nice enough to change my broken tail light, I decided to say yes when he begged me to be his Valentine. Over the past days he told me sob stories, trying to convince me of his innocence and his separation from past drug problems. Valentines day was only a couple days away and I figured it didn't hurt to actually have plans that day. Tarah and I worked for hours, trying to do something special for them last minute. Since Tarah's boyfriend's birthday was the same day, we mutually agreed to have a nice, romantic dinner at their place then after dinner, we'd have all his friends over for his birthday bash. A double date, and a double disaster from the beginning.

Valentines Day arrived, both of us having gone all-out. We bought all the fixin's for a big dinner, and spent the extra money to have our hair and nails done. We went back to her house and to our surprise had found no one there. Tarah assured me they'd both be back soon and had probably went to the local hangout to play some pool before dinner. We started dinner right away, both careful not to mess up our outfits and hair. This was the first time either of us had gone 'all-out' for a date, none-the-less a Valentines Day. Not long into preparing dinner, we realized we had missed a few key ingredients. So we put everything on hold, running back to the store for what we needed. We returned finding that Tarah was only half right. John had returned shortly, but without Mike. Not only that, but John returned with his best friend, both hammered and completely unaware of the plans and the date. I later found out he received a ticket on the way home for speeding, which explained his need to drink incessantly. Finally I asked John, "Hey, where's Mike?" "Oh," he said obviously wondering what the safest reply would be. "Well, he was here earlier, but went home a couple hours ago." "What do you mean?!" I asked. This wouldn't seem like such a problem, but you see, Mike lived over an hour away in a neighboring town and had no car at the time. "There is no way for him to get back today, let alone in time for dinner!" This was great, all this time, money and effort spent and my half of the double date was ruined.

Then Tarah came in, tears welling in her eyes and obviously enraged about something. She pulled me aside, "Chrissy, Bun already used John's birthday present and hung up the picture I framed for him on HIS wall!" While we were at the store, Tarah had sat John's presents in the extra bedroom because they hadn't been wrapped and needed a safe place for keeping. Bun went into the room, took both presents and decided they were for his own pleasure. Embarrassed, but no doubt enraged, she told John the problem. He was mad of course, but not at his friend, but at his girlfriend...Stating it was her problem for leaving them unattended. Upset and crying, she decided it was best to try and at least salvage my half of the date. She left John to continue his drinking fiasco and hopped in my car so we could attempt to figure out what happened to Mike. There had to be a good reason for purposefully ditching me on what was supposed to be a semi-romantic evening.

We arrived at his place. Knocking on his door he stepped out of a cluttered and obviously cockroach infested trailer. I'm not kidding when I say that the sight nearly made me gag. I tried to refocus my attention on him. "Um, where the hell were you and why'd we have to drive all the way out here to get you??" He spat and sputtered, obviously trying to decide to answer honestly, or weasel his way around the truth. Finally, he decided to give me the partial truth, "Well, my friend had court today and I had to go testify for him." I guess he'd known about this for weeks, but instead of telling me he couldn't make it to Valentine's Day dinner, he'd let me "have fun making the plans with Tarah." Needless to say we left without him; it was best for his safety anyway.

We made the hour drive back to Tarah's place, to find to passed out boys in the living-room. It was pointless now to try to make anything of the evening and retreated to the kitchen which had been destroyed in the time we were gone. The groceries were flung about the room and had been picked through so badly that some parts we unrecognizable. I found out later that Tarah had gave Mike ten dollars so he could at least purchase a small Valentine's Day gift and wouldn't be left out. He managed to buy me a 99¢ box of chocolates that also got eaten by the drunks in the living-room. The other nine dollars? My best guess is a 6-pack - The convenience store receipt was left in the bag for me to find. I guess I was just a bittersweet afterthought next to getting wasted. How lovely!

The icing on the cake came when I later learned that the court hearing wasn't for his friend, it was for him. It was an ongoing trial with him, I guess. Something to do with cocaine and heroine...Which explained the area where he lived - Many convicted drug dealers and drug doers lived or hung out there. I didn't ask too many questions beyond all this, I was too angry and rather 'grossed-out' to learn anymore. But, as with any story, I guess there's a moral: First impressions can tell a lot - Trust your instincts and go with your gut. Beyond that, I wish you love and a whole lot of luck in your future romantic endeavors.